Reminiscence

I was sitting on my computer when Christian went home, and was browsing facebook.  I realized how superficial it truly is.  In the fact that I can look at a million status updates and/or profiles and still not know what people are going through.  It reminded me of the quote, "Be kinder than necessary for everyone is facing some some kind of battle." How true this statement is.  We walk through life without a full knowledge of what is going on in the lives of those that surround us.  If we really knew what battles they were facing, I wonder how differently our actions would reflect that.

John 13:35 states, "By this all men will know you are my disciples, if you love one another."  If only we could exercise this even when people are not civil, or gracious, or considerate.  There are reasons why  people tend to act that way.

This is something I personally have realized when it comes to me and Christian.  Pastor was joking in church today about how marriage changes everything, and how when we get married the 'bliss' of non-marriage wears off and suddenly things are very different.  Although he wasn't downing marriage in any way or the changes and seasons that occur, it really hit home for me.  This year for us, has been the toughest year of both of our lives.  We lost a lot of the 'innocent joy' of dating in issues that tested our love in the most intense way.  We've seen sides of each other that both of us wish no one would ever know about, and we've said things that we wouldn't be proud for others to hear. 

I have to say that I can't wait for this year to be over.  Not because it was horrible, although parts of it were, but because it's a huge milestone for me and Christian...that despite ourselves and the circumstances of life, we chose to love.

I've known this wonderful man for about 5 years...wow.  When I think about our 'early' years and where we have come from, I see the reality of Christian's dads statement.  Although I know we'll have a phase of 'honeymoon' in the fact that we're married and living together and our everyday lives will be dramatically different.  Yet, I know the blissful ignorance of one another (I know that sounds bad, but that's why things are 'fluffy' at the beginning...you don't fully know the person), and the fun of learning each other is much less than 'typical' couples I suppose.  Perhaps not.  Yet for us, it does seem that way.  Without our permission, evil stepped into our lives and tried to destroy our love.  I believe this to be true because I know God is Love.  It's who He is, and satan is going to do everything in his power to destroy it. Marriage is also one of the physical, tangible illustrations of God's love and Christ's sacrifice for humanity.  The enemy of our soul is certainly not a fan, and in less than a year we had to get more real with each other than we ever had before, brutal honesty was necessary, and we learned who we really were.

Man, God is good. He is capable of more than I ever imagined, and His sustaining grace has carried us through the hardest year (hopefully ever) of our lives.

I love Christian Warren, and He loves me. We are committed solely to each other.  In this life, on this planet, that means a lot.  Marriage certainly doesn't mean much anymore, and monogamy even less.  That's a whole other story in itself however.

I pray that God would use my past and the pain that has occurred in my life, to make me a better person to other people.  I want to show love, even when it's hard.  I want to show compassion because I don't know the whole story.  I want to show grace and mercy because you never know where someone is in life, and the battle they may be facing.

hmmm.. that's all, well that's all for now. Blessings.

Des